Dreams

Dream Work:  These are some of my dreams.  They are titled, dated, written in present tense and in italics.  They are written as I remember them happening with no editorial or explanation unless absolutely necessary.  On some I will comment afterward on any processing I have done.  I welcome your thoughts and insights, too.  I only ask that you please preface your comment by stating "If this were my dream....". 


The Pouter and the Needy One  May 29, 2011

I am the director of a small youth program.  For tonight's youth event, I am not sure what adult advisors will show up to help since they are volunteers.  One is a male with whom I have had a very close relationship before we broke up.  Since that time he has ignored and snubbed me when I have walked past him.  I don't expect him to show up tonight.  The other is a woman who is faithful to a fault.  I am sure she will be here.

Sure enough the woman is here.  She tells me, however, that she isn't feeling very well and although she plans to stay and help, she needs not to have a large role.  She is clear about her needs and expresses herself matter-of-factly.

Suddenly from behind me, the man walks in.  He is tall, large built, strikes an imposing figure.  I am shocked that he is actually here.  But he is and I am very grateful.  Perhaps we can be friends again.

When I awaken I am immediately struck by something.  If the man and the woman helpers represent parts of me, then I am most certainly healing.  The woman was able to clearly state her needs with no apology, no guilt.  I have worked on this.  I am glad to see I am making headway.  And the man chose to come into my presence despite his obvious pain and well-developed pout.  This, too, I have worked on and am grateful to know the work is paying off.  I wonder, however, if there is significance to the pouter being male (or male energy) and the needy one being female (or female energy).

Falling from a Cliff

I am clinging to the side of a cliff, maybe ten feet down, just far enough not to be able to get to the top.  It is very, very precarious and frightening because the cliff wall is vertical and the drop to the rock below is about one half mile down.  Sure death.  I am aware that I am dreaming and could simply think my way to the top.  But try as I might, I cannot do it.  I am very frustrated.

Someone beside me, also apparently clinging to the side, lets go and hits the rocky riverbed below with a puff of smoke like Wile E. Coyote, cartoon style.  I wish I hadn't seen that.  I know I must let go sometime.  I have no choice.

Finally I let go.  I start falling straight down for the rock below when suddenly and unexpectedly, I start falling at an angle until I land easily on turf on the far side of the riverbed.  I'm not entirely sure how that happened but the falling itself felt rather fun.

It isn't lost on me that I have had three dreams in close proximity about scaling or falling sheer cliffs/walls.  What is it that I need to do?  What do I need to let go of?

Dr. Phil Visit  1-30-11

I have been processing some things about my life.  They seem like big deals to me, things that are very important.  Dr. Phil comes over to my house.  He listens as I pour out my heart about what I have learned about myself.  He is very supportive and affirming about the things I am saying.  He approves of the conclusions I come to.  I feel amazing that Dr. Phil has rubber-stamped the things I have said.  He takes a nap on my couch.

Truly, this dream is not coincidental.  I spent a fair amount of time this weekend processing some major things, among them two things that I was particularly proud to have come to a new awareness of.  Because I chose in my dream to let Dr. Phil represent the voice of authority on pyschological issues, particularly relationship issues, I believe my subconscious was telling me "Atta girl!  Good work!" - the affirmation of myself from myself, a far more important authority than even Dr. Phil.

Remembering  1-22-11

Sometime in my recent history I accidently fell a long way (100 ft) down from the ledge of a building.  I obviously survived because now I am in a building across the street from the scene of the accident.  I am with a small group of people and we are planning to go for a walk together when a man who has very sensitive, tender listening abilities comes to me and asks how I am doing after my fall.  I immediately break down in tears while looking out the window at the accident site, saying I haven't yet taken time to really feel through the emotional pain of that accident.  He holds me and tells me to feel it now and I let it all out.

In front of me (us) is a suitcase full of things I should have used but didn't because the accident aborted some trip I was to take.  For the first time I look at each item, touch each one tenderly, remembering and mourning each of the lost opportunities they represent.  "I was going to wear this to____ and that to ____"  The man was a perfect listener -  just receiving my story and my pain.

When I awoke from this dream I sensed that I had been given a great gift: to unload painful memories that can then go on their way and cause no more grief to the emotional and physical body.  Specifically what painful memories were unloaded here, I have no idea.  But then again, I'm not sure it was any one thing, but maybe a general gift.  Certainly that is more than enough.  I am left with a profound sense of gratitude and healing.


Climbing   1-18-11

My daughter is instructing me about how to climb a precarious wall.  She is on ground level as I climb what appears to be a building.  I need to get to a certain floor to enter a specific room.  She is assuring me of the various foot and handholds I need to secure to get to that specific room.  I trust her implicitly because I know she has done this herself many times.  I reach the room successfully.  The feeling of accomplishment is thrilling and I feel it in my entire body.



Left Outside   1-16-11

     My husband and I are working in the garage on a winter evening after the sun has gone down and it is very cold out. My two grandsons are strapped in their carseats and we have put them on the concrete pavement just outside the garage so they are safe from whatever we are doing in the garage.
     We are finished with our work and we go inside and go to bed. In the morning, we awaken, horrified that we have left the boys outside all night long. The dread is almost overpowering that they may have died out there and we race to get to them. They are alive but cold. I hold one tight to my body, my husband holds the other. I wonder aloud to my husband if we should put the boys in a warm tub. Before he answers, I ask him in a weak voice if he thinks we should call 911.
     I am disturbed by the very strong message his face is giving me: if we call we may be jailed for child endangerment. If we don't the kids may die. Clearly I know he is torn, not knowing what the "right" thing is to do.