"Are You Serious?"

Birthing has never been easy for me. Most mothers are with me on that one! It has been two years of every sort of emotion birthing my first children's book, "Are You Serious?" I have been excited, even elated, discouraged, even to the point of throwing the whole project out the window. And yet, here it is!

And I am struck with the idea that I am having some of the same feelings and reactions to this birth that I did with the births of my three biological children. Certainly there has been a measure of excitement. Yet that excitement has been coupled with a healthy dose of the reality that I must now "raise" this child of mine which, in this case means do my own marketing, promote my own work. This is sobering, much the way it was sobering to think that while I had successfully delivered each child, the real work, the work of a lifetime was dauntingly before me.

In order to promote this book, I have to have enough belief in myself to put it and myself "out there". I am not without pride in accomplishing this work. Yet it has been a pride coupled with humility. After all, I reason, certainly I think it was worthy of the work I put into it, but that doesn't automatically mean anyone else will see it that way. So, while I am proud of myself for seeing this project through to completion, it is now out there for the scrutiny and judgment of anyone who takes the time to peruse it. As long as the book or my children were still unpublic thoughts in my mind or lumps in my tummy, no one but me could judge them. Once made public, I must necessarily let go and realize that others will have judgments about that which is more than precious to me.

While these judgments in their negative forms are painful to endure sometimes, judgments in the positive are fun. But, as this book alludes to, neither judgment exclusively creates a template by which we can really see the truth. It is up to me to remember that the truth is subjective and elusive and always carries a balance. Books and children alike, once born, take on lives of their own that really have not much to do with me any more. To take myself out of the center of this creation is excruciating and life-giving.

As for the subject matter of this book, the concepts are near and dear to my heart, of course. With this book, I long to create waves of thinking, inspiration, change and awareness. I long to see it nurture and transform....not just kids, but adults as well. If this can happen...or should I be so bold as to say, WHEN this happens, my two years of labor will be worth all the fretfulness and self-doubt. And to be even more bold, despite any of my longings coming to fruition, the two years of labor has been worth it...period.