Fulfilled Life

Fulfilled life is possible in spite of unfulfilled wishes.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Really? The majority of people I witness surely don't assume this truth, at least not in the moment when wishes and dreams are in the process of being dashed and the feeling of fulfillment is far from reality. The natural response to unfulfilled dreams is kicking, screaming, pouting, denying, justifying, settling for less...but certainly not, "So, what I want isn't going to happen. That's okay, though, because fulfillment is just around the corner."

When her car was side swiped yesterday, pushing her into the path of another car, her plans to go wedding dress shopping with the bride went automatically unfulfilled. How is she to shift gears and feel fulfillment rather than intense anger and severe disappointment?

I truly believe in Bonhoeffer's statement. And I want to live my life that way. I want to be able to make my plans, execute my plans AND accept the detours and abortions along the way. I expect to feel anger and disappointment because it comes with the territory of being human. But I also expect that after I have given voice to my humanness, something far more wise and all-seeing will let me embrace a bigger understanding: that Fulfillment is something more than wishes granted and Unfulfillment is not about dashed dreams. Wishes and dreams are merely the itinerary of moving from point A to point B in getting through our hours, days and years of life. They are a way to execute living. Wishes and dreams are not Life. Life and Fulfillment is about the meaning behind the itinerary. The big, Big picture. The journey of the soul. The journey to Love and Wholeness. Beside Wholeness, our day to day wishes and desires can look petty.

Yet those daily plans are the highways on which we travel through life. Without them, we go nowhere. So, I honor the wishes and desires at the same time keeping my heart open to the Bigger Picture so that I gain not only a perspective of the now but also a perspective of the All.

It can be done. Fulfilled life IS possible in spite of unfulfilled wishes.

The Enemy

"The genuine warrior becomes truly gentle because there is no enemy at all." -

Smile at Fear by Chogyam Trungpa

Who or what is "the enemy"? Someone or something outside of ourselves? This typical definition is reflected in The Oxford dictionary: "Person or group actively hostile to another." Layering this definition over the saying, "I am my own worst enemy" makes me the person who is actively hostile to myself.

Trungpa's statement talks of a "warrior" and The Oxford dictionary uses the word "hostile". There is typically so much negative energy around the word "enemy". Trungpa suggests that there is such a thing as a gentle warrior, one who fights a different sort of battle in a completely different way. This warrior carries no weapons because there is no enemy. How can this be? And why call such a person a warrior when there is no war?

If all that is is neither "good" nor "bad" there is no fight. Not with someone or something outside of ourselves nor even with ourselves. There is only an enemy when one picks up the other end of the rope allowing for a tug of war.

Let go! Let go of the ropes and cords that bind you to your enemy. Here is where you may call yourself a warrior as you wear the armor God calls us to wear as Christians. Ephesians 6 says: Therefore put on the belt of truth , the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit. It is hard work, particularly in the beginning and it will take all of this to let go of your enemy, either the neighbor you call an ememy or the enemy you call yourself. Jesus did it. You and I can, too.

Guilted Christianity

Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games but they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in Church?

Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God to share it with others but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away but when we are going to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?

I have received this email forward a number of times. There was a time in my life when this guilt trip (let's face it, that's what it really is) would have tripped my guilt meter but good. But I read this again and thought, "Yeah. Why is it that these things are all true, because they are!" Two hours at a movie or time behind my favorite novel is way more fun than the same time spent at church or in the Bible. And it isn't that I'm not a spiritual person. I spend an inordinate amount of time digesting just about anything about spirituality. But church is boring. And reading the Bible cover to cover is as well.

What the heck is going on here that an email forward like this is universal enough to be sent around? After all, isn't it for the Faithful that this email circulates to begin with? It is saying that the Faithful are more apt to want to be at the movies, read a good novel, and spend money on their favorite vice than be in relationship to God and the church. And it is saying that's not okay.

I say, there's a REASON movies, novels, gossip, jokes and non-front-row seats are appealing. They are real. They are what life is. I believe Christ himself would have found them appealing as well. And I'm not convinced he would have been a regular in church either. Else he would have followed the rules of the religion to which he belonged and been in temple regularly instead of healing on the Sabbath and tending to the heathens.

The email forward finishes with this whammy:

If you choose not to share His message you may deprive yourself from being blessed as well as depriving others who may need God in their life.

True enough. But exactly what IS his message? Let's be clear here. I believe his message is to do what it takes to Love with reckless abandon. If church is firing people up to be giving of time and money with no concern for self, forgiving of (and breaking bread with) even the one who has murdered our sons and daughters or committed adultery against us, and makes us courageous enough to speak about it with anyone, then by golly, that's a place to be. But so are a lot of other places that do the same. The proof is in the puddin'. I know when a person loves me well and I care not how they got there. Love is Love, whether it came from sitting in church or a movie or the forest glen. Love is Love, whether it came from a Christian or a Buddhist. Love is Love because God is Love and God is not exclusively anything.

I happen to be a Christian, born and raised. It is the language to God that I am most familiar with. I am done being guilted into being a Christian. I come freely by way of everything I do/say/think. And I believe this was Christ's Teaching.

New dream post today!

Defining Moments

Defining moments in life. Moments that define or make clear what path to take, or not to take, how you really feel, what you really think. Moments to take stock and wake up to what you have that has been taken for granted, or what you don't have that you realize you don't want to live without any longer.

Some defining moments are very difficult, like divorce and death of a loved one. Some defining moments are truly amazing like the birth of a child or a graduation or a long-coveted job just granted.

Some are more subtle, less startling perhaps in the moment but no less poignant and no less defining. The truth of such a moment hits home when it happens but sinks in more deeply over time.

Two car accidents, two cars totalled, just over two days apart. Two family members, both physically unharmed, both emotionally taking stock.... as am I.

PS....just learned, believe it or not, of a third family accident that just happened today as well. Broken foot this time is "all". Okay, enough already.

Okay, comments CAN be added to the other pages now....

Walk it if you're going to Talk it!

I just read this offering from Fr. Richard Rohr's daily e-mail meditations:

We operate with the assumption that giving people new ideas changes people. It doesn’t. Believing ideas is, in fact, a way of not having to change in any significant way, especially if you can argue about them. Ideas become defenses.

If you have the right words, you are considered an orthodox and law-abiding Christian. We burned people at the stake for not having the right words, but never to my knowledge for failing to love or forgive, or to care for the poor. Religion has had a love affair with words and correct ideas, whereas Jesus loved people, who are always imperfect.

You do not have to substantially change to think some new ideas. You always have to change to love and forgive ordinary people. We love any religion that asks us to change other people. We avoid any religion that keeps telling us to change.

Adapted from How Men Change: A Thin Time

I can't say "YES!" loudly enough. I am generally leery of people who spit out dogmas, no matter who they are. The louder your battle cry, the more obvious you will have to be to convince me you ARE your words. Better be prepared to do so. I will feel your hypocrisy before I actually put two and two together.

The most living-their-love people I have known were also the least likely to try to convince me with their words.

Thank you, Richard Rohr, for your brave words. Few are willing to put it on the line like that.

I posted a new dream on my dream page yesterday. You can comment here if you wish...since you can't do it on the dream page itself I see!